Sjogren's Mom

At Least Everything Doesn't Hit At Once

amop — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:22:11 GMT

My pink eye is getting better. My eye actually itches today. Knock on wood, no one else in the house has gotten pink eye or a cold.

Bad news: I pulled my back yesterday.

Yup, and just by pulling a cushion out of the couch to help my 2 1/2 year old make a fort. He loves making forts, and I indulge. This time I shouldn't have. Strange that something that simple has created this much pain. Can't move my left arm too much, only could sleep on my back last night, and actually woke up around 5am crying in pain. My husband sleeps like he's in a coma, so it took several minutes of me calling his name and kicking him hard to get his attention. He helped me sit up and I stayed that way awake for most of the rest of the night. I'm in a fair amount of pain, can barely hold my 3 month old, and am letting my 2 1/2 year old run the house. I just keep yelling at him, "don't lean on Mommy." He's got a knack of just hanging on me...like all children. And of course, the side that hurts.

I've called in reinforcements. My poor husband has more work than his practice can handle, and given the economy, that's not a bad thing. I feel awful calling him away from his meetings today, so I called my parents and they'll be over in a few hours to help me in the afternoon. I'm going to try and call a chiropractor this morning and see if I can get an appointment this afternoon. Just can't go too long this way.

Good news: my 3 month old slept over 9 hours straight last night and is the happiest little camper on his bear rug right now. Picked the right night not to nurse every 2 hours, that's for sure. Don't think I really could have too easily.

Here's hoping my back recovers quickly and the little guy continues to sleep well! I'm actually hoping for a nice nap today so I can lay down. Might just go up in a little while and put the little guy to sleep and let the big guy watch PBS in bed with me.

Pink Eye

amop — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:06:34 GMT

When it rains it pours. First I got the cold that moved our Halloween party for our play group. I got better, we had the party, went trick-or-treating, made it through the weekend, and then my boys got the cold. They got better, we had a good weekend, and now I have pink eye.

Monday afternoon I thought something was up as my eye was very irritated, but when I woke up yesterday morning and couldn't open my eye, I knew what it was. Took a few minutes in the bathroom with a wet warm cloth to open things up. I called the doctor and they were able to get me in at 2:30pm.

Although my "dry eyes" aren't too bad on an average day, add pink eye to the mixture and I could barely blink without it feeling like someone had poured sand in my eye. Very gritty and painful. My vision was also very blurry...which is pretty normal with pink eye.

I have one of those nice ol' country doctors who has a family practice. Has the baby scale from the 1950's in the examination room. Comes in and has a conversation with you, takes his time, and educates you in the process. Not the doctor for everyone as some people want to get in and out. I, however, owe it to him for my very early diagnosis with Sjogren's, so I'll be a patient as long as I can still drive to see him.

He walked in yesterday afternoon and asked me how I was doing. I replied, "not too bad, and you?" His response: he had spent the last few hours waiting for the mail to come. My response: I was just at the post office and wondered why there were no cars in the parking lot. We both said: Veteran's Day. Duh.

He then asked me what brought me in, so I looked at him and said, "I think I have pink eye." He asked me when it started, I filled him in on the morning with the eye stuck together. Mentioned that my husband looked at me and said, "whoa." The doctor commented that all men should look at their wives and say "whoa" every now and then. I clarified it was more of a "whoa (I want to run to the bathroom and wash my hands" vs. a "whoa (don't you look beautiful)." We both had a good laugh.

I also mentioned my husband's offer to help me open my eye, and that I had declined and opted for the wet warm cloth. The doctor said that was a good one, as separating the eye would usually result in pulling out some eyelashes. He then asked me if we've been sick lately. Seems that pink eye and the cold run together. Sometimes one member of the family will get the cold, another will get pink eye. So, this is still lingering from our colds the past few weeks. However, he also filled me in on how there's like 22,000 different viruses that cause colds and only about 18-20 different viruses that cause pink eye. Once you have one of the viruses, you won't have it again. So while you can have cold after cold, it's always a different cold. Same thing with pink eye, once you have one case, you'll never have that same case again. However, that doesn't mean you can't pass it to other people.

He then proceeded to ask me if my kids were in daycare. Please keep in mind what I'm typing below is directly from my doctor, not my beliefs. I responded that I'm fortunate to be at home with them (thanks to my husband). He went on to explain that if it were the 1950s where most women were home with their kids and my kid had pink eye, we'd leave the doctor and then not leave the house for the next 5 days. My kids would stay home from school for a full week to ensure not only that they were better, but no one else got pink eye. Now a days, since many women work and there are pressures (both from the employer and those women put on themselves) to be at work, parents feel the urge to load their kids up with Tylenol and ship them off to daycare. Then they go into work and wait for the call from the daycare saying something's not right. This enables them to "show up" at work, so at least they "made the effort." Then they take the kid to the doctor, get the prescription for antiBIOTIC eye drops (keep in mind this is a virus) and go home for the rest of the afternoon. Daycares, to cover their rearends, stipulate that the child has to be on medication for 24 hours before returning to daycare. However, since the antiBIOTIC drops just soothe the eye (take away the redness) and prevent secondary infections (like sties) they don't prevent the pink eye from spreading. It takes 4-5 days for the virus to run it's course. You're technically able to "share" the virus the 3-4 days before you are at your worst, and then 4-5 days afterwards.

So, his insight is that doctors are now just there to cover the legal issues rather than get the families to take care of their children. Afterall, most kids with pinkeye return to daycare the next day and it typically spreads like wildfire. The daycare's response: they're all on medication. That phrase takes care of everything. If you're on medication (even though it won't treat a virus), you can't pass what you have along. FALSE.

His advice to me: stay home or take my kids out to all of our play groups and get togethers and pass out his card. If the adults are my age, there's a 50/50 chance they've already had this virus and won't have it again. Most kids haven't and if there's enough contact (or their resistance is down) they will get pink eye...or the cold caused by the virus. My thought: I'm staying put. Nothing worse than passing things around, and I'm one of those Moms who hates it when sick people leave their house because they feel they have to. Like all of those sick co-workers I had during my pregnancy who would I'd overhear telling people how they felt like crap, and a) would go home early, b) didn't have any more vacation days to take sick time, c) had to get something out so they came in even though they felt lousy. Thought they were troopers, but from my perspective they were just incubating and passing along their misery to the rest of the workforce.

I left the doctor's office with quite an education and that prescription for drops to soothe my eyes and prevent the secondary infection. As they don't make me unable to share my misery, I'm canceling all activities for the week. Also makes me think more about how I should keep my kids away from anyone who has been sick within the past 3-4 days, not just the last 24 hours.

My eye is feeling better, and it's looking like it's just my left eye right now. Woke up able to see this morning, so that means 4 days from yesterday is Saturday when I can be out and about. Now I have to start canceling our dates for the remainder of the week.

Cotton Gloves

amop — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:10:22 GMT

I recovered from my cold just in time to host a wonderful Halloween play date (on Halloween) for my older son's play group. It was great fun...only my son was the only one who didn't want to be in the wonderful costume I made him. Got it on him for a quick photo and then he was ripping it off. Good news is that he wore it out trick-or-treating, so that made it all worth it.

Come Tuesday of this week...my boys both have a cold. Had to cancel a weeks' worth of activities and try and reschedule a few. Seems like I'm always canceling things because one of us is sick. People must wonder how it happens that we're always sick. Nothing worse than listening to the baby try and breathe, and fumble through each breath because he's so congested. He's doing better now, but after another down week I feel like a bad parent due to all of the tv we've been watching. At least it's a lot of PBS. Yeah, doesn't make me feel much better.

I'm just SO tired that I don't have the energy to do anything for more than an hour or so at a time. That and trying to get an active 2 1/2 year old to do anything for more than 15 minutes is a challenge in the first place. We start to color, he gets board. We read a book and before it's over he's on the move. I play with him on the floor (while playing with the baby) and he's in the other room into trouble. He doesn't even really sit still for the tv, thankfully.

I just wish I could crawl into bed and sleep for an entire day. A down day. You know, the ones you used to get when you were sick...before kids. Maybe I'll ask for it for Christmas. And of course, through the back of my mind races the question, "am I so tired from having kids, or is it more related to the Sjogren's?" I know parents are generally tired, and as my baby didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time until he was 3 months old (and he's still waking at least two times during the night), I know much of the fatigue could be from just general lack of sleep. I look forward to naptime each day...and hope and pray my older son will at least stay in his room. Got 20 minutes three days ago, nothing more since. He's a non-napper now, and although I keep trying to at least have quiet time, he comes into my room, yanks me out of bed, and says he wants to go "downdares." Too cute.

In addition to the fatigue, my mouth is split in the corners again and my hands are extremely dry (cracked and bleeding). My sweet sister loaned me her pair of cotton gloves so I could lube up my hands at night, cover them in the gloves and hope things were better in the morning. I've done that for 4 nights now and I have to admit, they're better in the morning, but by mid-afternoon after the daily chores and diaper changes, they're back to where they were. I'm planning on going to a Sjogren's meeting in my area next Sunday - a dermatologist is going to be speaking about skin problems, so that might be insightful. Helpful, I hope.

I've started losing big clumps of hair in the shower. I know post-pregnancy your body lets go of the hair that built up throughout the pregnancy, but at the back of my mind is the little voice that asks, "is this Sjogren's too?" Probably not, but you never know.

In the meantime, it's time to continue my day and maybe motivate to run a few errands this morning. Get out of the house at least, as we all have a bit of cabin fever.

Quickest Cold Ever

amop — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:22:34 GMT

I went from feeling just fine Sunday morning to having a nasty cold in literally hours. I don't recall colds taking hold this quickly. Here's hoping it leaves just as quickly as it came.

After spending Sunday morning cleaning my house (oh, does it feel good to clean...well, maybe as you enjoy the final product), we left as a family for two birthday parties. First one was at 2pm and by the time we left around 4:15pm I noticed my ears were clogged and I couldn't clear them. I yawned and swallowed, and drank with no clearing.

We arrived at the second birthday party around 5ish, and by 6:30pm I knew I was in for it. My nose was clogged and I was blowing my nose trying to catch it before it ran down my face. Welcome the cold.

Usually I wouldn't be nearly as bummed (I'm used to this cold after all of my colds with the second pregnancy), but we were hosting a Halloween playdate for 10 of our playgroup families this morning. Alas, I spent about an hour last night calling everyone and trying to figure out when we could reschedule. I feel just awful it didn't happen today...and that people had already made their potluck dishes for lunch. Here's hoping they hold until Friday, as that seems like the best day for everyone.

My husband actually talked me into canceling last night. I was going to wait until this morning, but he made a good point: better to let everyone know...and to not spend any more time preparing for something that was just going to be canceled anyway. So I put on my pjs and we went to sleep.

On a positive note, I think the medication is finally working for my littlest one...he slept nearly 7 hours straight, got up for a change and a feeding, then went back down for another 3 hours. He sure picked a good night to let me sleep!!

So much for my return to the treadmill. I finally was in a groove of running nearly every evening before dinner and then this hits. Will probably be another few days before I can get back on for some exercise. Oh well, took me 9+ months to put the weight on...will probably take me 18 years to take it back off!

House

amop — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:09:05 GMT

Did anyone catch tonight's episode of House..."Lucky Thirteen?" If you're unfamiliar with the tv show House, it's about this nasty, totally un-PC physician at a NJ hospital named Gregory House. He has the knack for diagnosing all of those cases that no one else can - the medical mysteries if you will.

After watching tonight's episode...about this woman who had a bunch of unexplained symptoms including seizures, clotting problems, cysts on her lungs, massive fatigue, and other complaints, I was a bit shocked to hear her diagnosis...Sjogren's. Huh? Yes, she was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease not by all of the above mentioned issues, but because her lips were dry and she couldn't cry. House actually cut an onion and held it in front of her face...no tears. What they didn't show is that you still have that nasty stinging reaction though. Tears almost make that better in some sense.

So, the medical mystery for tonight was what I deal with every day. Kind of strange to see it played out on television, boiled down to symptoms that could fit a number of different diagnoses (including one where they told her she was going to die). Interesting I wasn't aware that seizures and cysts on my lungs were possible ailments associated with Sjogren's. Seems I have some more research to do.

In the meantime, I've started counting the cracks on my knuckles where I'm bleeding because my skin is so dry. Had 6 on one knuckle, think that's a record. If you can't laugh at it, you'd go insane. Funny thing is that while I was sewing my youngest son's Halloween costume tonight and my knuckles stuck to it the thought ran through my head, "boy, I sure hope I didn't get blood on the dog costume." Time to buy some of that NuSkin.

Knuckle Splitting

amop — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:08:01 GMT

As if my elephant skin hands weren't bad enough, in the past two days I've developed little splits on my knuckles that are now bleeding. This is with multiple applications of super thick hand cream throughout the days. Think I'm going to have to go buy another bottle of that skin glue (yes, they really sell it to seal up your wounds) and dip my knuckles in. Wonder if it will hurt more than the splitting itself given it's alcohol based??

Dental Cleaning

amop — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:21:00 GMT

I had my appointment for a cleaning (just a few weeks late given the birth of my second son) this past Monday. Feels great to have those squeaky clean teeth...until your next meal. Prior to getting pregnant the second time I had requested that they update my x-rays as I knew there would be about a year or so before I could technically have them again. I made the appointment, they took the x-rays, and at my next cleaning I was pregnant. That's when they told me that the x-rays they take every 3-5 years needed to be updated. Huh?

Yup, the x-rays they took at the specially scheduled x-ray appointment that I went out of my way to make were just the normal bitewings they take each year. Someone didn't read my chart properly...and who was I to question how many x-rays they should take. The procedure seems to change every appointment.

So this time, they said it had been over 6 years since my last full panel and they'd recommend I take the extra 10 minutes to update things. Good thing. Although I have nearly perfect teeth (the hygenist always compliments me on what a nice mouth I have), the few "spots" they've been monitoring have increased so they're going to have me back in to seal those areas before anything more serious develops. Ah, Sjogren's.

In addition to fixing these two areas, they're also going to fix the front tooth (well, second over on the top) that I chipped. Both the hygenist and dentist got a kick out of how I answered their separate questions concerning whether I knew what I had done to chip the tooth...kissing my husband. Yup, that's a good memory. Go in for the kiss and misjudge proximity. Funny thing is, my husband doesn't remember this, but I can tell you where we both were at the time...probably because the next words out of my mouth were, "my Dad is going to kill me." My parents spent a fair amount on a perfect smile (aka I had a bit of dental work to get the teeth straight), so chipping a tooth was almost a slap in the face.

Anyways, good visit and I'll get these things taken care of before they become anything more than just a spot. Now if I could only heal my elephant skin. Given I wash my hands about 3 times an hour between diapers and the potty training 2 1/2 year old it makes it tricky to get the cream on, let alone get it to work.

I'm Not Going to Jinx Myself

amop — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:07:17 GMT

Knock on wood...last night, for the first time our little one slept nearly 5 hours straight...in his own bed! Yes, that means I actually slept! He's been doing better the last two or three nights sleeping in his crib, and sleeping a few hours straight (2-3), but has still needed the swing to rock him to sleep around 4 or so in the morning. He's cooing on the couch next to me, what a happy guy he is when he's had a good night's sleep.

Since I slept more than 30 minutes at a whack last night, I'm feeling like a million bucks. When we woke up around 3:30 this morning after his nearly 5 hour bout I felt like I could have jumped out of bed and been good to go for the rest of the day. The remaining bits of sleep I got until about 8am this morning were just icing on the cake.

I've started running again now that my neck and upper back seem to be mostly better. Still a bit sore each morning, but I think I keep sleeping in strange positions without knowing it...hopefully this sleep thing will continue and I'll actually be able to sleep without sitting up in bed. The running has just made me feel that much more out of shape, but I'm sticking with it. Might not get out (or on the treadmill) every day, but I'll get my pre-pregnancy shape back in time. More importantly, I'll get the exercise I need to keep me healthy...oh, and set a good example for my boys.

I ran about a mile on Thursday night...up hill both ways. We live on a nice quiet street that is about 1/4 mile long. Only thing is that it isn't flat by any stretch. You go down a slight hill to get to our driveway, and then it goes down even more before it turns uphill all the way to the cul-de-sac. So, to run a mile, I have to run up and down the street twice...which means up 4 hills and down 4 hills. Great workout, but I would have really liked to run more the first time out. Yesterday my husband and I took the boys to the rails-to-trails down by the river which is really scenic. I ran with my older son in the jogger while my husband trailed behind walking with our youngest in the stroller (and his coffee). I probably ran 3 miles straight, and then walked another mile when I caught up to my husband on the way back. That was a pretty good workout...and it's mainly flat. Best part, I hit the farmer's market by the car before heading home, so we had nice fresh organic veggies with dinner.

I tackled a bushel of apples and made 14 containers of applesauce last night. Ten jars canned and 4 containers for the fridge and freezer. That makes a little dent in what I need to prepare for the winter. Another batch or two and I should have enough to get us to at least the spring. My son and husband loves the homemade sauce, as does most of our family...so we eat it all of the time. This however has caused my hands to worsen. The cracking is back, and the dry fingertips really got annoying as I was trying to change diapers and dress the boys for bed. Feel like I should wear gloves or something to prevent myself from sticking to everything I touch.

I have an appointment for a cleaning today, so we'll see what the dentist thinks of my teeth. Given the lack of saliva, Sjogren's sufferers are more prone to cavities and other dental problems (great, I don't love the dentist to begin with). Add in some sleepless nights where brushing teeth might be hit or miss...let alone the floss part...and we'll see what recipe we've whipped up.

Pumice Stone to the Rescue

amop — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 23:42:31 GMT

I learned tonight that a pumice stone not only exfoliates your feet, but also is great for removing the dry, cracked skin on the tips of my fingers. Now I hopefully won't stick to everything.

Post Pregnancy Labs

amop — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 02:17:11 GMT

I received my post pregnancy lab work today in the mail. It's been a little while since I've had blood work sent to me, so I'm curious to see how my numbers compare. However, it brought back how I was diagnosed. As I was reviewing the blood work, the first test the lab marked with an H (for high) was my immunoglobulin IgG...normal range is 639-1349mg/dL and mine is currently at 1819mg/dL. This was the marker that first threw my primary care physician, and prompted the other testing and finally a visit to the rheumatologist.

My Sjogren's Antibodies (and that's what the lab refers to them as...) were also marked H. My Ro Antibody (SSA) is >100 (that's what they entered) when normal is 0-25. My La Antibody (SSB) is 72 when normal is also 0-25. Now I'm really curious to pull out the last post pregnancy blood work and see how they compare. Maybe when I find a few minutes.

In the meantime, my neck and back are feeling better...thank goodness as between my two sons I don't think I slept more than 3 hours in total last night. Amazing how we can function with that little sleep. I'd get one down, the other would be up. I get the little one down and the older one had to pee. Little guy didn't want to sleep past 2am, so my husband took him downstairs to swing for a little while. Back up around 5 to eat, back down around 6 to swing.

I wasn't sleepy enough this afternoon to take a nap...so instead, I went outside and worked in my gardens. Most people would think I'm crazy (as my husband told me), but I find it quite relaxing and satisfying to spend time in the garden. Not only do I have some quiet time to myself, but the work I do is pretty visible. Now, if I could just keep the weeds out! I stopped gardening about 3 weeks before I delivered, and aside from a 30 minute spree where I pulled what I could before my husband caught me, I haven't touched the gardens since. I'm sure you can imagine how they look...much like my lawn. Lots of grass. And of course every time I walk by them all overgrown, I long to clean them up. At first, I couldn't bend over, and then I couldn't find the time. Now I'm taking advantage of when my husband's home and it's nice out to work out there for a little while. Maybe someday I'll have the gardens I have in my head.

At least my back and neck weren't bothering me while I was out there. I feel the ache just a little when I turn my head the right way. Here's hoping I continue to "relax" and let my spine snap back in place. Now I'm dealing with super dry hands (it hurts when I bend my fingers, especially where the knuckles on my hand are)...and cracked finger tips such that I'm once again sticking to everything. Break out the hand cream. If my son hadn't smeared my bed, headboard, and wall with the super thick stuff my husband bought me for Christmas, I might be a bit happier.

I Feel Bruised

amop — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:59:43 GMT

That wonderful pain in my neck hasn't gone away. I had my loving husband stretch me out like the good doctor showed me, and that didn't really help. I'm fortunate to have a sister-in-law that not only is a physical therapist, but works like 10 minutes away from our house, so she was kind enough to swing by the last two evenings to work on me. Literally, work. She was here about 30 minutes the first night, and probably 20 minutes last night just massaging (deep tissue, not that "feel good" massage) my neck trying to get my muscles to relax enough that the joints in my neck slip back in place.

Although I feel pretty good after she leaves, I feel like I'm pretty bruised within about an hours' time. At least what she's doing has loosened me up enough that I can actually move my head, and there's not much pain in my upper back any longer. It's just time before my muscles relax and I snap back into position. Here's hoping it happens soon as it's been over 3 weeks now!

The hardest part of the day is first thing in the morning...I woke up this morning and could barely move. Definitely felt it more today. At first I thought I wasn't up to take my little guys to our weekly play date, but after a little while I felt better and realized that the best place for the three of us would be with friends. My eldest played pretty well with the other little ones, and my youngest just nursed most of the time we were there. I'm really glad I went, it's nice to get out and talk with friends...even if it's in between trying to break up a tussle or two between the little ones.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the nap I was hoping for today...or all week. Last night the little guy wanted to nurse just about every hour or so, which meant I might have collected a total of 3-4 hours of sleep. Today I was able to get my eldest down for a little while, then the youngest was up for a change and to eat. By the time I got him fed, he pooped again, and my eldest woke up in a fitful crying bout. Must have been a bad dream, but he couldn't settle back down for sleep. So here I am sleepless again this afternoon.

Pain in the Neck

amop — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 02:04:17 GMT

After nearly two weeks of discomfort, my husband finally talked me into calling the doctor to make an appointment. I was able to get in this afternoon, and my great husband left work a little early and met up with me there so he could drive the kids home while I talked to the doctor without any distractions.

After a few minutes of conversation, he had me stretch out on the table and then proceeded to pull and twist my head and neck. A few questions later and he said he knew what was going on...and actually grabbed a spine prop to show me. Turns out from sleeping on it strangely the other night, I moved my spine such that the facet joint is out of line. Basically, in twisting in my sleep I moved the joint such that it's sitting on top of the spine causing a great deal of pain.

The typical treatment - a muscle relaxant and pain killer. This would make the individual relaxed enough that the joint could naturally go back into place. As I'm nursing, no such luck. Instead, he showed me a few different stretches I can do with my husband, and if these don't work in relaxing my neck muscles enough to get the spine back in order, I can either see a PT or a chiropractor. Fun is. Lucky for me, my sister-in-law is a PT, so she's going to make a house call on Wednesday if things aren't any better.

In the meantime, I made and decorated 3 cakes, whipped up two dips and a baked brie in a homemade crust for a party we're going to tomorrow at my sister's. I'm in pain, I'm just not letting it hamper me too much. I feel it most first thing in the morning, when I'm talking on the phone, and when I'm driving a car. The rest of the time I'm more tired than in pain.

6 Weeks Post Delivery

amop — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:01:08 GMT

I've made it to the final finish line in the birthing process - six weeks post delivery. For the first 2 weeks home, I had the no heavy lifting, no driving, and no more than once up and down the stairs a day rules. Add the no bath, swimming, or exercise (including intimacy) for the next 3 weeks, and here I am at the post delivery finish line.

I saw my rheumatologist yesterday, and atypical to most post deliveries, I have no flare-ups with my Sjogren's. Thank goodness. I couldn't imagine on top of being sleep deprived to the point that I can't open and close my eyes they are SO dry (and I'm not exaggerating), that I'd also be dealing with physical changes in my body due to the stress from pregnancy and delivery. She did an exam and had some blood work done, but overall didn't find any other changes in my being. I did talk with her about the dryness that I experienced the first few weeks, especially the part about how my mouth kept splitting open and wouldn't heal. Nothing more fun than taking a bit out of something and seeing blood on the food remaining. She said that I could have a vitamin B deficiency, so she added that to my blood panel. After donating 10 tubes (no kidding) of blood, I left there a fairly happy camper.

I saw my OB this morning for my post delivery follow-up. Nothing much new to report there. They have me down a whopping 12 lbs. Not quite what I had yesterday, but then again we had Chinese for dinner and I drank a bottle of water on the way in. I'm less concerned with that number right now. Give me a few more months and then I'll really start dwelling on the fact that I have to tackle the weight issue. My blood pressure was great (110/60), and everything looked a-okay with my incision. The doctor was as surprised as I have been that my steri strips haven't fallen off. I guess I actually listen to the physicians a little too much...I didn't try and speed along the process.

One thing that was discussed at length during my visit was birth control moving forward. This was something the doctors brought up towards the end of my pregnancy. Well, not birth control. Sterilization. That's such a harsh word. At the time, I said I wasn't yet ready to make that decision. My husband asked what was involved. He's two and through. Has been from before we were even pregnant with #1. I've always wanted four children. Everyone I've talked with assumes it's the "I want a girl" thing as we have two lovely boys. It could be, but I've always seen myself having more. Not necessarily with a gender associated.

Before delivering, my husband and I tabled the discussion, with the grounds that after a few months with the baby maybe I'd be ready to make that decision more final. Although I'd like more children, and both my OB and high risk OB have said we could, they and especially my rheumatologist have cautioned me about what the risks are. Obviously, the older I am the higher the risk of issues in general, and the more likely we would be for multiples. Nothing like going for a third and getting a fourth. Know people that's happened to. On top of those normal risks, I also have the increased risk of having a child with fetal heart block or other Sjogren's related complications, I have higher risks of miscarriage (due to Sjogren's), higher risk for flare-ups and other Sjogren's related pregnancy complications. On top of it, to be safe, I should be off of the Plaquenil at least 6 months prior to conceiving, so an subsequent pregnancies would have to be well planned. Finally, the stress on my body of another pregnancy could cause the autoimmune disease to go into overdrive. A risk I had this time around, but luckily avoided (keep your fingers crossed).

So, the conversation today laid out all of my options. There is a pill I could take (progesterone only) that is safe for breastfeeding Moms, I could go the IUD route, or I could have some type of tubal ligation (there's two methods). Things to think about. There are risks with each, and it really depends on what we see in our future. Right now, I can't tell you how I'll feel in 2 years so I'm inclined to take the pill and play it month by month. The doctor also threw out there that my husband could be sterilized...and my response is that we were aware, but that wasn't something that I could discuss with an OB. I'm going to read through all of the literature that the OB provided. Not thrilled about the thought of having the IUD, but then I wouldn't have to remember to take the pill everyday. I've also heard of a few people who have gotten pregnant with the IUD in place. Think I'd rather take the pill and know vs. just hope the IUD doesn't slip!

The thing I didn't tell her or my OB at today's appointment is the pain in my neck and back that I've had since last Thursday. Despite being given the go-ahead for all activities, I won't be doing anything strenuous for at least a few more days since I still can't hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder...nor turn my head to far enough to each side to see over my shoulder. Yeah, probably shouldn't be driving. I keep hoping each day it will be better, and truthfully, beside the blog and when it inconveniences me, I kind of forget that it hurts. Just don't have the time to dwell on it. I'm just thinking one foot forward. Change a diaper, feed a baby, keep toddler occupied while I do both. What's for lunch? Get toddler down for a nap, breathe, update blog, feed a baby, change a baby, feed a baby, and somewhere in between it all figure out and make dinner. Phew.

Will I Find My Groove?

amop — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:11:54 GMT

I have to wonder. To sum up the past several weeks...I'm tired. Very tired. Thankfully, my partner in crime really is my partner - my husband actually let me "sleep in" (aka, I just had the baby...who's nursing every hour) on Saturday morning while he took our 2 year old out of ear shot.

Let's see...the birth went well, as did the hospital stay. We came home, and the first week or so home my baby kept losing weight and really wasn't interested in nursing. He slept. I got some rest, but was really emotionally exhausted from constantly trying to nurse (for an hour of more at a time...so basically fighting with him) and having no success. Then all of the sudden he latched and was ready to eat...and that's all he did for about 2 weeks. He would eat for 25-30 minutes, we'd change him, lay him down, and within 5 or 10 minutes he would be ready to eat again...all night long.

We finally got into a good groove where he'd eat and then rest (whether sleeping or just content) for about a week or so more, and then he started to spit up. The occasional spit up turned into every time...to volumes of curdy milky spit up that would soak through his clothing, burp cloth, and any clothing we were wearing that was in contact. At first I thought he was just over eating, but even nursing for 10 minutes he'd spit up.

For the past week I've been on a dairy free diet. Yes, no milk, yogurt, cheese, or butter. No milk products. Do you know how many things have milk products or butter in them? Let's just say I've had my fair share of veggies and fruit. Not the worst thing as I'd love to work on the remaining 40 lbs of baby weight I have yet to see leave my body. It's working.

The pediatrician thought that by after a week we'd see some improvement if the baby really had a milk allergy (most milk allergies do go away around the year mark, and aren't a sign of lactose intolerance). Over this past weekend, the baby has been extremely fussy, won't really sleep, and when awake is screaming. He eats for 10-15 minutes, a few minutes later spits a bunch up, then screams for a little while, sleeps for 15 or so minutes, and then wants to eat again. You can just tell something isn't right. No fever, no other symptoms, so I called the pediatrician this morning as the next thing this could be is reflux (GER). We're going to start in with a reflux medication this evening, and if it's reflux we should see some improvement by the end of the week.

The only change I've noticed in the past week with the spit up is that it seemed to just be milky over the weekend (not much curd) and then today there's chunks that look like cottage cheese. Interesting, huh?

Oh, did I mention that on Thursday night I slept weird and woke up with a very stiff neck? Yeah, fun. Thinking it would go away, I just let it go. By Friday afternoon the pain was into my back so I used the giant heating pad throughout the evening. Saturday I wasn't any better...and not really on Sunday either. Actually took one of those big Motrin they sent me home from the hospital with...no help. I'm a little better today, but can't put the phone between my ear and shoulder. Can't lift my head high enough to look at the ceiling. Hurts to turn to the sides, but at least I can now. Ah, and I haven't gotten the all clear yet from my OB (as it's not 6 weeks) so I can't even sit in a hot bath. FUN.

Went to take a nice hot shower last night and my 2 year old climbed up the stairs with me. He proceeded to take his shirt off and lament "bath, bath" while I was getting my towel and letting the water warm up. He got a bath...then I got a very quick shower before he went to bed. All I was looking forward to after spending the entire afternoon cooking and baking (first time since I gave birth, so I was on a mission to get a lot made for the week) was a LONG hot shower. No go. Maybe tonight.

Tomorrow is my 6 week follow-up with my rheumatologist. Will have to tell her that I'm beyond tired (how much is Sjogren's related...we'll never know)...and that I'm so tired my eyes are SO dry I can barely blink late at night. Not much else too concerning. At least that's what I think - we'll see what she has to say.

Elephant Skin

amop — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:30:59 GMT

I think my son and I have finally got on a good nursing/sleeping schedule now. He is going in for another weight check to see how much he's gained in the past week tomorrow, so here's hoping that he's not only up, but up over birth weight at this point. I'm thankful that he's eating well now, except I'm missing those first few days where he slept nearly non-stop...and slept in his bassinet. Now he'll eat around 10:30pm and then we'll tuck him into his bassinet for the first bout of sleep (usually 2 1/2 hours) and once he's up to be changed and eat, he won't go back in the bassinet. Just cries. And there's nothing better than having a newborn and a 28 month old up at 2am...so I don't fight it. Either myself (during the week) or my husband (on the weekends) ends up sleeping with him laying on our chests. Last night we folded and put him in the swing for a 2 hour sleep bout. I don't want to get used to that, but at this point we both need to get more than 2 hours of sleep at night.

On another note, the skin on my hands has now crossed from dry to elephant like. Rough, rough, rough and not only looks like thick elephant hide, but also feels like it. Think it's aging me pretty quickly. I've been loading up on lotion after nearly every wash of the hands (given that's about all I do between diaper changes and trips to the potty with my son), but that's just not cutting it right now. In addition, the corners of my mouth are still splitting, so I must look like I've been living pretty hard.