Totally Unproductive
Do you ever have moments where you feel like you should just give up? Think I'm getting there. I'm behind on the housework (good thing, as our language therapist is coming tomorrow, so I'm sure tomorrow morning I'll be up and trying to pick things up just so the house looks somewhat organized). I'm behind in the yard as I watch the weeds, prickers, and poison ivy over take the yard. I'm behind on my projects...like making the baby cards for friends who've announced...not so recently...that they're expecting. I still haven't made the quilt for my son that I bought fabric for well over a year ago. I still haven't done his baby book or written out the journal (although I've done well at taking crib notes so I can fill in the details later on).
Tonight my husband asked me where something was. On our counter. With all of the mail, magazines, coupons, and other things that I've tried so hard to keep under control. And when I didn't know, and could only respond "on the counter," he started looking. That just frustrates me even more...knowing that I'm now causing him pains.
I am keeping on top of the laundry...as we're potty training...so you have to wash underwear. I did 4 loads yesterday, and another 3 today. That's one thing I try not to let slide too much. I do change the sheets and wash the towels weekly as well. And now with therapy on Friday afternoons, the downstairs at least gets vacuumed.
My sister and brother-in-law are coming tomorrow night...so yesterday and today I've spent time upstairs trying to cram 2 guest rooms worth of crap into one room...or one closet. At least now the bed is made and there's room to walk around it. Just don't open the closet. Or look under the bed. Or look in my son's closet (which I cleaned out all of the boxes of holiday decorations only to pack full of bags and boxes of mystery stuff...like receipts and bills I haven't filed, craft projects in progress, and boxes of scrapbooking supplies). It's not like I don't need any of it...I just need a day or two to myself to sort through and properly organize everything. What happens is I start something, get interrupted, and toss everything into a bag or box to deal with later. I'm sure I can condense the two closets down to one...just need to find time where I 1) feel up to doing it and 2) don't have to worry about what disaster my son is making in the process. He's great, but whenever I do something around the house, he spends just as much time making a mess. One step forward, one step back.
So, in the end, I'm worn out and frustrated. Wish I had more energy to do things, wish I had more down time to work on keeping my crap together. My Mom came out yesterday for 2 hours which I used to work on getting the guest room liveable and then working on weeding my front gardens (because we don't have the time right now to properly deal with them and put down the fabric and wood chips to prevent the weeds in the first place). I just know my life is going to spiral more out of control in the coming months as I get too big to do anything (and let's hope I'm not put on bed rest or deliver early) and as I adjust to life with two children. Nothing like stressing yourself out more, huh? So how do all those people with no family close by deal?
Oh, and did I mention that I've been crampy for 2 days now ever since my son charged at me with his hands outwards and pushed hard into my tummy. Needlesstosay, this afternoon while he napped I rested as the cramps make me nervous and I really don't feel like manual labor when I'm hurting.