Is My Memory Failing Me? I Can't Remember.
When I was 9 months pregnant and patiently waiting (I was a happy pregnant mom-to-be) for the arrival of my son I started to notice a now too common trend...my memory wasn't what it used to be. You know the saying an elephant never forgets? I'm the elephant. I don't forget. I might put it aside, but in the middle of my shower or while standing in line at the grocery it will come back...and that's when I'd jot it on the mental pad in my mind and whatever it was would get addressed. I can remember obscure things - birthdays for people I haven't seen in years, recipes I haven't made in months, how much something costs at Wal-mart (I'd be good on The Price is Right). On top of it, I could remember the important stuff - lists of things to do or buy, and within a narrow margin of error, I'd remember pretty much everything. Then I got pregnant.
Things started to slip little by little. I'd put something in the car to run an errand, and would drive right past the place I was headed to, completely forgetting I needed to stop there. I'd space on things my husband told me (which I've always claimed he does to me), things I needed. etc. Nothing major, but annoying nonetheless. When I finally went on maternity leave 2 weeks before my due date (and just in time as my OB said my swelling was severe enough to put me on bedrest), I was thankful not to be working a number of reasons, including I didn't want to space at work. You know, forget to get someone something important, lose my train of thought in a meeting, or something equally as embarrassing.
What did I do on maternity leave? Not much. A good thing as Mommy brain was starting to kick in. Each day I would tackle something simple - make a double batch of something for dinner so I could freeze the balance. One afternoon I cleaned (well, organized) my cleaning cabinet. The day I decided to make cookies (I LOVE to cook and bake) happened to be a day where everyone was calling to ask that wonderful question - any progress? So inbetween calls from people I worked with, family, and friends, I made two different types of cookies. The first ones (oatmeal raisin) came out great, and I was happy to tuck those into the freezer for later consumption. The second batch was your classic chocolate chip...except I made them with peanut butter chips too.
I mixed up the batch following the directions on the back of the package while on the phone, and at the end of my call, the cookies were placed in the oven, and I back on the couch with my swollen feet elevated. The timer goes off and what do I see? The cookies liquified and ran all over the oven. They were so thin (and I do like thin cookies in some cases) that they practically became crispy crackers with little flavor. I not only had to throw out the entire tray of parchment thin cooked dough, but scrape it out of my oven (and then clean it - got to love self cleaning ovens!). For the life of me I couldn't figure it out, what happened? I'd made that recipe several dozen times in the past, and since I've been cooking since I knew what a wooden spoon was this type of disaster wasn't my norm. I called my husband at work to tell him I must have completely lost my mind when in the middle of my conversation with him it occurred to me...I only put in one cup of flour. Who spaces in the middle of scooping out 2 cups of flour and forgets the second one? Not a complicated recipe where you have to divide it out or set it aside, just scoop and mix.
After my son was born I continued to have Mommy brain and would space on different things - a new one being words. Yes, I would be in the middle of a sentence and suddenly forget the word I was looking for. This I attributed to being sleep deprived and the only real conversations I was having concerned feedings, pee, poop, and making sure I've had enough water to keep hydrated. Should have known when I was drinking 2 1/2 gallons (yes, I'd go through Poland Spring's handled jug) a DAY that I might have been having some dry mouth issues and it wasn't just because I was nursing a BIG baby. Anyways, where was I?
A few months ago I noticed that I now space in the middle of sentences. I'll be talking with my Mom on the phone or my husband and mid thought, forget where I was going. Yes, this does happen from time to time, but how about multiple times in a conversation. Again, I thought Mommy brain combined with being distracted by a toddler running around at my feet. However, lately I've begun to feel I've got some short term memory issues. I'd be in the middle of writing a sentence in a thank you note and forget what I was saying. Ever write a word twice...in a row?
I've been working on Christmas lists for our family in preparation for the holiday posting at Thanksgiving and I've found myself online typing in a search term and I forget what toy or product I meant to type. My husband asked me for his watch the other morning as I was upstairs and he had already gone downstairs with our son. Do you think in 2 minutes I could forget a watch...even after the last thing I did before leaving the room was put mine on? Yup. Didn't remember until we were sitting in the car...a half hour later...when my husband asked me if I brought it down. Two years ago this wouldn't have been an issue. I'm a good multitasker. I COULD talk on the phone, fold laundry, watch the soup simmering on the stovetop, and dust all at the same time. Now I would drop off from time to time on the call, the laundry might get folded but only if the soup boiled over and I'd find the dustcloth a week later when I went back in the room where I left it to dust again. What has happened? Is this part of having Sjogren's...being a Mom...getting older...or all of the above?