Okay, I've been away. Not literally, just been swamped with other things, and generally by the time I can type at night, I can't. Read on to see why.
An update on where I am:
My neck and back are still bothering me. After months of seeing a chiropractor (which helped greatly!), I was still getting better then having set backs. Frustrated, I was finally referred to a neurosurgeon who had me see a sports medicine guru who ran a nerve test that determined my bulging and protruding neck discs had not yet compromised my nerves. He also had me see a pain management doctor who started me on a series of up to six spinal injections of an anti-inflammatory Depo-Medrol. Same medication my rheumatologist had prescribed in December that got me on the road to recovery...only to have a set back in February.
I've received two injections thuse far. First one...pain got MUCH worse, then mellowed out a bit, but never went away (there is a chance it will get worse before it gets better). Second injection started working after about a week and a half (it's supposed to work within 3-5 days, and lasts for up to 21). I saw my pain management doctor after having 5 days of no pain. We discussed returning to activity (like vacuuming, running, lifting, etc.) and she said to take it slow, but that if I was pain free now, chances were I'd remain that way. YEAH. Yippee. Let's go celebrate. Wait, the whole family gets a cold. Then what happens...5 days got by and the pain is back. So I give her a call...she says to revert back to the Tylenol every 6-8 hours and ice 15-20 minutes three times a day. I give it the old college try. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Have to wait until mid-July when I see her for a follow-up...as she's out on maternity leave.
About two weeks ago I had a quarterly visit with my rheumatologist, and as usual, she asked if I had any new symptoms. Yes I do. EXTREME fatigue. Like don't want to get out of bed until noon (although I'm up before 7 each day) and could fall asleep sitting upright on the couch watching the boys by about 3pm (although I don't). Then I get my second wind, pull together dinner, baths, bedtime, and then it's 830pm and I'm wide awake. I crawl into bed between 10:30 and 11ish each night only to sit and roll, and wait to fall asleep. So when she asked if I was sleeping okay, I told her that I'm also up a few times a night to fetch a crying baby and get him back to sleep, help a 3 year old get in/out of his pjs as he sleepily informs me he has to pee, or help him build a tent out of his covers so he can nest up and fall asleep. My husband sleeps through everything, including me punching him asking him to get out of bed and help. I also mentioned that I was still suffering a bit from the neck/back pain. That launches a conversation about why I can't take anything (nursing) and what I've been doing (waiting).
She informs me that there's a very low dose muscle relaxant that she gives, "her old bitties" that she thinks might help me get a good nights' sleep...and hopefully function better during the daytime. We also discussed the fact that I should not nap (even if I can) during the daytime and that I need plenty of exercise. Hold on, I'm still on limited activity. Yup, no exercise. Figures why I still have 30lbs of baby weight to go...and lucky me, just had that insurance health exam. Hard to explain that I'm this heavy because I'm a new Mom as my nearly 1 year old is crawling at mock speed through the house!
Back to the meds...I called the pediatrician after leaving her office and was informed that if I take one tablet after I nurse for the night, it should be nearly out of my system at first light. It has a relatively short half life. Good for the fact that I'm nursing...however, short half life means it also doesn't stay in my system (AKA help me) that long. Typically you take 4 pills a day. I'm taking just one. Okay, I give it a go. After just about a week I notice my youngest has nearly stopped nursing...pushing away, making faces, doing everything to avoid me. I think it's because he's weaning or wants his cool new sippy cup...so I pull out some freezer milk and fill it up. He downs that...so I got to pump...not much milk. For two days...not much milk. Hmm. I called the pediatrician back, and after some discussion (about formula, pumping, and trying to keep him nursing), I decide to stop taking the pills that really haven't made me feel any better. Within 24 hours he's nursing like a pro again. Yup, must have been the medication...not the cool new sippy cup.
So, here I am, not bent over in pain, but definitely not 100%. I have good days, and not so good days. I finally gave up yesterday and said, "screw it" and went for a run. I felt the best I've felt in months (and I mean months) today. Lots of energy, little pain, etc. So I ran again today. I'm sitting here with just some minor discomfort. We'll see how it continues.
Meanwhile, the pain has seemingly moved to my hands. They cramp. And cramp. And cramp. After I write (which we knew a little while back), but now after typing. Three paragraphs ago I noticed it start. Now it's making me want to wrap things up quickly. I raised this as my other "new symptom" and it of course prompted about 3 pints worth of a blood draw to check me for thyroid problems, vitamin B12 problems, and a slew of other things...which I'll find out about on July 7th...if I can get a sitter. Nothing like trying to talk about this with a crying child and one who has to touch everything, open every draw, and stand on me saying, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Ma, Mommy, Mom..."
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry…both because of how cute and sad it was at the same time.
Friday as my children and I spent a day together at home, my oldest grabbed my car keys and headed out the door ahead of me to “unlock” the car. It’s one of his new favorite things to do. At three, he likes to try and navigate the key into the hole and turn it to open the doors for me. He’s a big helper. In both senses of the phrase.
He’s such a big helper, that as I stepped out the door behind him into the warm beautiful day (it’s summer…nevermind spring), he said to me over his shoulder as he walked to the car, “I take Mommy to da dot-tor.”
Yeah, guess where I go all the time. Or so it seems to a three year old. To the dot-tor.
I’m going again on Tuesday for my second spinal injection. After a weekend of hurt…that my lovely regular strength Tylenol can’t touch…I’m SO ready to get on with things. It’s not only spring outside, but the yard needs work, I’d love to get running and get off the rest of this stubborn baby weight, and my three year old wants me to drive trucks and run around the yard with him.
He’s probably sick of me saying, “Mommy can’t.” I’m in my 30s, not my 90s.
He also thinks that he can “tiss” it and make it all “bedder.” Ah, the innocence.
I didn’t. Not quite.
Between the colds that have hit my household, a birthday party for my oldest, a baptism, and a huge family Easter celebration I’ve been busy. Add in dealing with all of my appointments for my neck/back pain and I think I need an assistant.
To catch everyone up.
I threw out my back in mid-November (which we now think was related to the neck pain I had back in September). After several weeks of chiropractor visits my rheumatologist put me on a Medrol pack (anti-inflammatory) that is safe to take while nursing (because just about everything else, including pain killers and muscle relaxants, aren’t safe for the baby) it seemed my body was healing. I was taken off restrictions at the end of January, then the family got Croup and a cold, and by mid-February I had pulled it again. Back to the chiropractor.
Chiropractor then said it was time for a surgical consult. I went to a neurosurgeon who referred me to a sports medicine doctor who ran some tests and determined that the protruding and bulging discs in my neck hadn’t caused any nerve damage. The neurosurgeon also referred me to a pain management specialist who I have been working with for the past month. Meantime, no chiropractor visits, back on most restrictions.
After my consult with the pain management specialist, her recommended course of action was a spinal injection of Depo Medrol (same thing I took in December, but the injection made it longer lasting). Her belief was the injection would lay me out for a day (just take it easy), then after 3-5 days I’d start feeling much better. I could feel worse before I felt better though, but the longer term goal was to get me functional. She believed within 10-14 days (after my post-procedure visit) I’d be off restrictions and back to normal activity. Thank goodness.
April 2nd I had the injection. Pretty simple and straight forward. Went home, took it as easy as I could with two little ones and a husband. Next day could resume pre-procedure activity. Injection site was sore, and I did get worse. And worse, and worse, and worse. To the point that they called to reschedule my follow-up appointment and I told them that after a week I was worse off than before the injection.
They had the doctor call me back. She started to go through the muscle relaxant, pain reliever (Vicodin), and other anti-inflammatory she was going to put me on as I interrupted and asked if they were safe while nursing. Oops, nope. That’s why I wasn’t put on all of that post-procedure (which is typical…they drug you up to get your body as relaxed as possible so the injection can do it’s thing).
Today was my rescheduled appointment. I’m a little better than last week, but still sore, uncomfortable, and my new complaint…crampy. Yes, the neck and especially left shoulder are crampy. Like I have a continual charley horse. Just hard to get comfortable and stay that way. When I spoke with the doctor last week she said take Tylenol every 6-8 hours and ice three times a day. I tried that. I forget to take the Tylenol until the pain is really bad, and my three year old steals my ice pack and thinks it’s funny. Hard to sit still for 20 minutes twice during the day with two little ones at home.
Today’s solution: another injection. I’ll have that on the 28th. Supposedly, it could take up to three injections, especially since I can’t take the cocktail of drugs they typically provide post-procedure. Anything is just about better than surgery, and if we can keep me at a pain level 6 until I’m done nursing in a few months I think then I’ll gladly accept the cocktail and a weeks’ vacation. In the meantime, I don’t stop. I just think three times before doing anything. Constantly remind myself not to lift heavy things, run after the kids, or stretch to far. I also spend quite a bit of mental time worrying I’m going to have another set back. I can go to bed one night feeling great and wake up worse off in the morning.
Right now I’m working through the cold that’s running through my family. Oh, and my right knee’s been giving me trouble (giving out when I climb stairs, etc.). I’m falling apart. It could be worse, much worse.
So after nearly 3 weeks of quarantine, we left the house yesterday. I dropped off the two kids at my Mother-in-law’s so I could go unaccompanied to visit my best friend and her nearly month old little girl. I saw them in the hospital the day she was born, and haven’t been able to get back since because we had the plague and what kind of friend would I be to bring them a meal, a gift, and a virus that just kept on giving?
Instead, I waited until we were all healthy and I went alone to spend some quiet time with her and her beautiful daughter. Just holding a peaceful, sleeping little girl made me start to wonder if it’s time to renew THAT discussion with my husband. Of course I come into her house and after getting her dinners into the freezer and fridge notice that there’s blood running down my hand. Can I hold the baby now??
My lovely dry and cracked fingers got bumped a little too hard and one of the NuSkinned splits cracked yet again, so I walk into her home and within 5 minutes she’s offering me a bandaid. I of course have my kit in my purse and proceed to the bathroom to wash my hands…only to realize I need to cart my dripping wet hands back to her kitchen to get a paper towel. What kind of guest would I be to wipe my bloody hands on her nice bathroom towels. One more thing she’d have to deal with – a blood stained towel.
So there I am, 6 minutes in to my “quiet” visit with her, hand wrapped in a paper towel, fumbling through my emergency bandaid kit for a suitable sized wrap to make sure that it doesn’t spring another leak while I’ve got her precious bundle in my arms. Knowing how dry I am, you’d think I’d have a bottle of NuSkin in my purse. Well, that’s going to be there after this post. Just in time for us to leave and run a few weekend errands as a family.
That is, after my husband gets up. I took first duty with the boys so he could sleep in a bit this morning. We’ve been up for just about 2 hours and it’s nearly 9am. He needs his rest, week full of late nights working (1 or 2am nights…not at the office until 8 type of thing). I’m still convinced that he’s going to come home from nursery school with a note this fall asking if my husband really makes “bacon” for a living. Everytime he asks “where Daddy?” my response is usually, “at work, making bacon.”
Okay, so I’ve been reading some message boards and other thoughts about how a vitamin B12 deficiency could cause problems with “healing” and I have to wonder if this is the reason the cuts on my hand and at the corners of my mouth don’t heal…for a LONG time.
Right now I just have a few splits on my fingers, and after a few NuSkin applications I’m managing quite well. The gash on my thumb actually healed quite nicely. Split a few times before finally sealing. I have been sleeping with my gloves and thick cream, but it becomes a bit unproductive when I’m up in the middle of the night several times to change and nurse my son. Don’t want to change the diapers with the sleeping gloves on, so thankfully my husband assists with that. I also can’t feel anything too well through the gloves, so trying to nurse and navigate things like the tv remote are difficult…so I just end up taking them off after a few hours on. Guess it’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m still hoping for more than one night a week sleeping until at least 6am.
Back to B12. I’m still taking prenatal vitamins, so I’m not sure how extra B12 is going to help. I need to do some reading up on that. I did ask the dermatologist I saw in December about things that would help my skin and although she gave me a prescription for cream that I haven’t found to be terribly better than the Burts Bees products, she didn’t mention taking any supplements.
Although I need to spend more time reading up on B12, I did learn the following thus far:
- B12 is naturally occurring in most animal products (fish, meat, milk products, etc.)
- Man made B12 is something I’d need to look into more as it’s classified as category C and I’m nursing
- The RDA is 1microgram
- Although it’s water soluble, it’s also destroyed by water (huh?)
- As it is water soluble, you can’t overdose
- Sunshine also destroys it
Now I need to go read up on my prenatal vitamin and see how much is in there. I do eat more milk products right now as I’m nursing and don’t want the calcium taken out of my bones. I believe, based on my current diet, that I should be getting enough to meet the RDA.
In the meantime, I keep a bottle of NuSkin by all of my medication. Nightly dose of healing power.
It’s been one of those weeks, the kind of week every Mom knows is in their future, but can’t plan for no matter what.
It started last weekend with a trip to my sister’s house (about an hour away) to celebrate my birthday and watch the Superbowl. I’m THAT lucky. My sister made a nice dinner, her husband had their new Wii up and ready for golf, and just as I headed up to change our youngest I realized that the bag full of clothes, medications, and other necessary items was packed…and sitting on his rocking chair.
Instead of unwinding and getting a nap in, I was calling Walgreens to get another prescription (which was nothing short of a hassle as we had just had a 3 month supply filled through mail order…and even though I explained I was on vacation…it took my arrival at the store for the pharmacist to explain that unless I needed a vacation override I wasn’t getting the prescription). At least I had some sister time on the trip. We also ran through TJMaxx to find a few pieces of clothing for the overnight…and all they had were pjs in 24 months (he’s in 12) and a “tracksuit” type of baby outfit for the daytime. Oh well. Nothing like a stress free trip, right?
Add to that a 6 month old who is teething and wouldn’t sleep anywhere but next to Mom. I had 10 minutes of Wii time the entire evening. I also had about 4 hours of sleep as nursing Moms know, sleeping next to your baby is pretty much like hanging up the sign that says “24 hour buffet.”
After a sleepless night, we (my boys and I as my husband had to get off to work) joined my parents for a short visit with my grandparents. It was nice to visit with them as they haven’t seen the boys since our youngest was just a few weeks old. During our visit, my eldest wound up in a very unpleasant situation as he filled his pant and got it nearly everywhere. Complete clothing change prior to jumping in the car for the ride home. We had a few more bad trips to the bathroom before turning in for the night. Didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to 3am and there in our doorway is a crying, half-choking, coughing, wheezing, miserable little boy. We quick moved the warm air humidifier to his room, grabbed some Motrin and a little juice, and tucked him back into bed once a few songs and some rocking with Mom calmed him down. He woke not much better and continued to cough through the entire day…and Tuesday night. I called the pediatrician on Wednesday and learned that nearly three year olds can have Croup too. Fun is.
I’ve spent the remainder of the week trying to keep my hands washed, my oldest comfortable, and my youngest as far away from him as possible. We were supposed to have my youngest son’s baptism today. Guess what we had to cancel?
My oldest is still coughing and has a runny nose, but is seeming to feel a little bit better. He slept most of the night last night…compared to being wide awake by 3am (thanks to the medication). My youngest still hasn’t shown any signs of Croup…but is cutting his first tooth and we’re close enough we can see it coming.
In the meantime, in trying to pick up the kitchen on Thursday night, I had a run in with a vegetable mandolin…and sliced my thumb pretty good. Called my doctor first thing on Friday (as it took nearly 3 hours for the bleeding to stop), and the earliest they could see me was at 245pm. Turns out if I had gone somewhere on Thursday night, they would have stitched the wound. Since it had been so long and the wound was pretty much closed, my doctor put some butterflies/steri-strips on it and sent me home with a prescription for an antibiotic (just in case).
Great, like my cuts heal well. I’ll probably be nursing this one closed for the next month…along with the splits on my fingers that have naturally developed from all of the hand washing this week.
We’re waiting for tomorrow to come. Hopefully they’ll be no coughing, a tooth, and I’ll finally have tackled the sore throat that’s been coming on for a few days now. I’m off to nurse my son (teething makes him a light sleeper) and then tuck myself in.
…of turning 33…I had to actually do the math to figure out how old I’ll be tomorrow. Not sure whether to blame that on lack of sleep, Mommy brain or Momnesia, or just getting old.
My other list of complaints including:
dry, cracked hands
split cuticles
dry lips
dry mouth
dry eyes
lovely gray hair that is beginning to overtake the brown ones!!
just under 30lbs of remaining baby weight
fatigue
and never enough hours in a day
On my list of things to be thankful for:
a wonderful, loving husband who is right now in the kitchen cooking dinner for 9
two energetic and lovable sons that make every moment enjoyable
my health (better back, overall good health, etc.)
my extended family who are always there for me
my wonderful friends who not only remember my birthday, but check in just because
my freedom (as one of our family friends sits in Afghanistan representing the US)
the financial stability such that I can stay home full-time with our two sons
There’s many more things I’m thankful for, but I think you get the picture. The slight inconveniences of life (and life with Sjogren’s) are far outweighed by the joys of life.
I received the good new last night at my chiropractor appointment that I’m well enough to start jogging…YEAH. That will help with at least one of the things on my complain lists. I also don’t need to go back for at least 2 weeks. Here’s hoping my 33rd year just keeps getting better. I’ll be buying the hair color once I’m done nursing…
So I got into a conversation the other day with a Mom friend at a class we attend about how our littlest ones seem to do the majority of their nursing at night. So, how do I sleep?
Last night, like a typical night in our house these days, after dinner (I made the baby fresh applesauce for dinner and my oldest had some pasta with cheese and an apple…his choice) I brought the boys upstairs for their jammies. I then nursed the youngest, placed him very contently in his crib covered (and I mean covered) in blankets to the extent he probably couldn’t move (he’s taken the swaddle to the toddler level), then I cuddled in bed with my oldest reading train books.
After two long stories, we tucked him into bed and said our goodnights. The youngest down and asleep by 745pm, the oldest down and asleep by 815pm. A little later than usual, but not dramatically so. I then spent the next several hours keeping my husband company on the couch – I watching reality tv (because I need to feel better about myself) and knitting while he worked. When I was pretty tired, I rambled up the stairs with a large glass of water to take my 4 pills with (Plaquenil, two vitamins, and birth control), tucked in my babies (who had both covered their heads completely with blankets…don’t ask me how a 5 1/2 month old can SO perfectly do this with a blanket no larger than his head…), brushed my teeth (to ensure the Sjogren’s dry mouth doesn’t create more cavities!), and crawled into bed. I was in bed by 11pm. I couldn’t fall asleep until 12:30ish, and was awakened around 1:10am for the first midnight feeding.
I have no clue why someone so tired can’t fall asleep. I just can’t. Then the feedings start and al I want to do is sleep. The little guy was changed and brought to me in bed (I love my husband) where he spent the next 20 minutes or so nursing. When he settled down, like usual, I planned to give him about 5 minutes of deep sleep before moving him. I fall asleep…to awaken about 30 minutes later ready to move him only for him to awaken and want to eat again. So I oblige. Then move him to his crib. By now it’s about 230am. I fall back asleep. He wakes again around 5am. Is brought back in for another night cap. Nurses until 530, falls asleep, I ask my husband to move him back…he reawakens. Nurses again. Falls asleep (as do I) and we’re all awakened by the alarm at 648am (don’t ask). Being awake, why not nurse? Which he does until our oldest comes sauntering into the bedroom with a, “morn-nin” and climbs into bed demanding we put Roary the Race Car on. This part is not normal, he usually wants to go, “down-dares.”
After 10 minutes of the 4 of us in bed, the youngest is wide awake, as is the oldest, leaving my husband and I trying to crack our eyes open enough to not fall out of bed as we rise. By 745am we’re all downstairs.
Let’s recap, I sleep from:
12:30-1:10 (40 minutes)
1:50-2:30 (40 minutes)
2:40-5:00 (140 minutes)
5:50-6:48 (60 minutes)
Add in maybe 15 minutes of crappy sleep between then and 7:45 and we get a total of maybe 5 hours of sleep. Not horrid, but understand some of it is very light sleep as no one wants to “roll over” their infant in bed.
This is fairly typical. Given we don’t nap any more (aka, my oldest no longer naps, so I have no hope or prayer of doing so), I’m still amazed I can’t sleep earlier in the night. I go up at 10, I’m still awake until 12:30ish. Every once in a while, our youngest will make the entire 8pm to 5am without waking. It’s a blue moon, but it happens. But on those nights, our oldest is usually up sauntering down the hall to the bathroom.
So, how do you sleep? I can’t ignore the nightly cries from the crib, especially since I feel like he wants to eat. He’ll nurse once or twice in the morning before his nap, then two or three times before dinner, and then once afterwards before bed. I have to wonder if he’s getting enough (he does eat at dinner time…a lot). My oldest was a BIG child and at 3 months was over 19 lbs…at 6 months was over 22 lbs. We’ll be lucky if the youngest is over 19 lbs at his six month check up this Friday. He’s not tiny, but he’s not the big baby we were used to.
For someone who is naturally tired because of the Sjogren’s, add in energy exerted with two children each day, and interrupted sleep at night and I have to wonder if I’m going to crash big time somewhere along the way. I have to think my husband’s lucky he can sleep through most anything…and falls asleep very quickly. His contributions at night (maybe a total of 20 minutes) takes just that amount of time away from his sleep. Once he’s handed off our son, he’s fast asleep again. He even sleeps through his alarm so I’m the one at 648am poking his to death to shut the damn thing off. Which is great on mornings where I’m not already awake. Thanks, dear.
While it is cold enough where I am to literally freeze your tongue to a pole (see A Christmas Story), it’s definitely cold enough for mittens and gloves. Which I wear every time I leave the house…and also to bed.
I did make it through my best friends’ baby shower without any further damage to my hands (thanks to the gloves and LOTS of lotion). She then surprised us all by delivering nearly 3 weeks early, just days after the baby shower. Talk about timing!
My hands right now are just REALLY dry…makes me look about 8 years old. I’ve been sleeping with my gloves and lots of lotion at night and it does seem to help, except it’s difficult to work the remote, change diapers, and nurse with those gloves on. Then as soon as I’m up in the morning and the gloves are off, my hands are under water nearly all day. Between dishes, laundry, diapers, potty time, and other household duties, it’s nearly impossible to go more than 30 minutes without submerging my hands. Believe it or not, I’ve even held off going to the bathroom because I just put lotion on my hands. I usually wait and time it with a diaper change or trip to the potty for my older child.
I did have a follow-up visit with my rheumatologist the other week, and besides the dryness, we discussed a ganglion cyst that has developed on my left ankle. Turned up a few months ago and has gotten progressively larger as the days have passed. She didn’t think too much of it, but did send me to xrays to confirm it wasn’t anything other than a cyst (which it was). Her prescription – to go to a special store about an hour away to get fitted for shoes with better arch support. Arg. I love my clogs. I’m in slippers most of the day. What kind of ugly shoes are they going to have for me? Not to mention I’m a 12m, so the selection at that size isn’t all that great.
I did call the other day to confirm they actually carry my size before I make a trip there and find out that they can’t help me. She had also suggested arch supports for my shoes, so maybe they can start there and we can see how that helps. I guess between the two pregnancies and the extra baby weight I’m still carrying (but whittling down thanks to another bout with Weight Watchers and some willpower) my arches have started to let go. I know it’s only going to get worse, especially when I’m able to start running again…which is why I’d prefer the arch supports as I can tuck them into my sneakers. I’m VERY picky about sneakers as there’s just one brand (Nike) that I’ve found is the most comfortable/best fit for my long narrow feet.
Well, we’ll see how soon I can get to that store as my weekends are packed and it’s not something I’m going to try alone with two small children. That’s a recipe for either a snap (wrong) decision or a complete and utter meltdown on all of our parts.
I finally broke down. Bought a few pairs of latex gloves for the dish pan. I have never been a fan of gloves while washing dishes. Never. However, as I have splits on my fingers that haven’t healed and just keep re-splitting…and I needed to polish all of my sterling for a baby shower I’m co-hosting this coming weekend…I figured now was the time. Polishing silver isn’t the cleanest job in the world, but then washing everything afterwards I figured would probably just make my hands that much worse. I’m glad I made the investment, but really miss the feeling on the suds on my hands.
I saw my rheumatologist earlier this week for a 6 month follow-up visit (post pregnancy). Everything seems okay. I have developed what appears to be a ganglion cyst on my left ankle. She had me go for x-rays just to make sure, but that’s what it is. Seems that my feet are flattening out from the pregnancies and the extra baby weight (which I’m working on!) causing a cyst to form from between the joints in my foot. It doesn’t hurt, just looks like it doesn’t belong. Hopefully it will subside and my ankle won’t look so gnarly.
I did ask her about lung cysts as a “side effect” from having Sjogrens. One of my family friends (who’s a good 40 years my senior) has them and just went in for her second surgery. This time they were cancerous, stage 3. Frightening. From what my rheumatologist told me, they are known to be associated with Sjogren’s, but aren’t something that I would definitely get. The risk is about 20-25%, and hopefully by taking the Plaquenil my risks of everything will be lower. Fun is. I’m just praying for our friend that she gets through chemo and gets a clean”er” bill of health. Hard to know what to expect later on in life when I only know one other person with Sjogren’s.
In the meantime, I’m going to protect my dish pan hands and between the three boxes of bandaids and the tube of Neosporin, I can get my cracks to heal for the shower this weekend!
'Tis the season...and for the first time in my life I'm not feeling much stress at the holidays. Thankfully.
My wonderful husband taped over 100 photos into our holiday cards last weekend while I addressed envelopes and wrote in my personal message. Even taking the photo for the card wasn't too stressful - the boys didn't self destruct, they actually smiled, and it was after 8pm when the photo session was initiated (post-bath for clean babes).
In terms of my holiday shopping, I started in January of this year. Yes, January. When I find something, I make the purchase. Nothing is worse than braving the mall with a toddler in their terrible twos stage and an infant who wants to constantly eat at this time of year, let alone when you can actually wheel a stroller in the mall without stopping short, bumping into things, or trying to avoid those lovely shoppers who feel compelled to make the world move around THEM. As of right now, I have one more small gift to purchase...and if I don't, I have something in my "back-up" stash that will do. I'm waiting for our annual holiday calendar of the boys to arrive, but besides those, everything else is wrapped and under the tree (or already shipped). Phew.
I have my marching orders for what I'm bringing where on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Nothing terribly difficult, and nothing I can't do that morning. This afternoon, as we're expecting about a foot of fluffy white snow and my loving husband is coming home early, my boys and I are going to bake up a storm of cookies. I'm not feeling pressured or short of time in baking either. I realize that in one evening I can whip up several different batches of holiday cookies that I then dole out and bring with us on our travels and wrap up for friends and family.
My final project of the holiday season is knitting my youngest a red and white Christmas stocking that matches the one I made my oldest on his first Christmas two years ago. It's a big stocking, and up until last night I hadn't had time to start the project. I did jump in with two feet and feel like another 2 or 3 evenings and it will be done. It's a quick knit, but it's a big stocking.
So, instead of running around at the very last moment and having the house completely torn apart trying to decorate, things surprisingly were finished early this year...even despite having major back problems. I finished my steroid last week and have been feeling mostly back to normal the past few days. I did feel some aching in my back last night as I shelled and deveined 3 lbs of shrimp (yeah, fun is), but that was fleeting. I feel well enough to be out in the snow with my son, but still cautious that any quick movement or heavy lighting/pulling/pushing can literally throw my back not only into spasm, but might get me an operation for Christmas. I was a bit shocked to hear my chiropractor tell me on Monday as I was relating how good I was feeling that she really expected me to have surgery. Surgery, really. I'm surprised that a chiropractor would actually say that aloud...and glad that I'm doing much better as it's fairly certain I might be awaiting surgery right now.
So, although stress isn't good for my Sjogren's or my back, it seems that in a time where I thought I would be pretty highly stressed, I'm actually able to enjoy the holiday. Maybe after 30 something years I'm finally figuring things out. I did make a garland just for our light post this year...I didn't make the one for around the door. Maybe I'm just learning to let some things go...
I'm off to fill the house with the wonderful smell of childhood...and watch my little one enjoy sampling every creation.
Is a new back...or maybe just to be pain free. I tried describing the constant pain to my husband tonight, and I guess by saying, "I'm tired of being nauseous" it hit home. I just keep in mind it could be A LOT worse.
I saw my rheumatologist this afternoon to check in and see if this neck/back pain could cause problems with my Sjogren's. The issue itself won't, but the stress and constant pain might. She provided me with a few suggestions, including going on a steroid usually used for Lupus patients to help with the inflammation. Turns out this is safe for *** feeding (YEAH), so we're going to give it a shot...just need to check in with my chiropractor first thing tomorrow.
Supposedly I'll feel like I'm on cloud 9 while taking it...but I should try and limit my activities as it could set me back. Let's hope wrapping Christmas presents doesn't push me over as between that and the cards...oh and knitting like a fiend to finish (um, start) my son's Christmas stocking...that's what I'll be doing for the next several weeks.
Well, in the past few weeks I've managed to do some recoup on my back...only to find out it's my neck.
I did get in to see the chiropractor the day of my last post. Since then I've been on very restricted duty and thus, nearly unable to sit still long enough to type. Well, without having a child or two trying to monopolize my time.
The chiropractor I saw took several sets of x-rays, and after reading them asked me if I was in a traumatic car accident as a child. My Mother-in-Law said she was asked the same thing many years ago, so perhaps it's just a ploy. I've never firmly believed in chiropractic care, skeptical might best summarize my outlook.
Well, my spine from my mid-back upwards curves to the right, my neck curves like a C rather than a reverse C like it's supposed to. I guess a hard 180 degree flat out fall on black ice as a child didn't help thing, neither did a hard fall down the stairs before my first pregnancy, or the fall out of the kayak right before I conceived the first time...or all of those years as a thrower on the track team in high school and college. I've just been really hard on my body.
So I have been seeing the chiropractor three days a week since my first appointment, including the week of Thanksgiving. This is the first week I've gone to a Monday/Friday appointment. Not that I'm feeling 100%, but the pain in my neck is now in my lower back. The week before Thanksgiving the pain was radiating down my arms, so the chiropractor sent me for an MRI. Fun is. I'm not afraid of small spaces, was actually somewhat peaceful as no one was trying to climb on me or bother me. Twenty minutes of time to myself. Who cares if I was in something no larger than pea pod.
That surprisingly showed that I have a disc problem in my lower neck - C5 and C6 to be exact. One is a protruding disc, one is a bulging disc. I've been told not to lift anything, no housework, no major activity. Take it slow, lay low, get lots of rest. Hah. This week I'm doing better, actually able to finally drive (before I couldn't turn my head enough to check the side mirrors). As I sit here typing my lower back hurts the most and my neck hurts just a little less. I've been told that something as simple as a sneeze could throw one of the discs, so I need to be very careful. Scared? A bit.
We did discuss muscle relaxants and as I'd need to be on them for at least 10 days and they have a 3-4 day elimination time, I'd basically have to either wait a month to build up enough milk in the freezer or I'd have to stop nursing. As such, we've decided (my, my PCP, the chiro, and my son's pediatrician...yes they are all involved) against that route for now. The chiropractor has given me about 2 weeks until she ships me to an orthopedic surgeon for a second opinion. Yikes.
In the meantime, I've called and left two messages with my rheumatologist and am ready to chew her a new ear tomorrow as I have yet to hear back. My concern is that the stress I'm under from this (pain, emotional) will accelerate the Sjogren's...as I've been told stress does that. I'm on the Plaquenil, but wanted to know if I should up the dosage. We had waited for me to take the full dosage until my son was old enough, but maybe now is the time to introduce the higher dosage. Nothing from her. Makes me want to consider another rheumatologist.
We'll see tomorrow what she says, but although I'm pretty uncomfortable I know that it could be a whole lot worse.
My pink eye is getting better. My eye actually itches today. Knock on wood, no one else in the house has gotten pink eye or a cold.
Bad news: I pulled my back yesterday.
Yup, and just by pulling a cushion out of the couch to help my 2 1/2 year old make a fort. He loves making forts, and I indulge. This time I shouldn't have. Strange that something that simple has created this much pain. Can't move my left arm too much, only could sleep on my back last night, and actually woke up around 5am crying in pain. My husband sleeps like he's in a coma, so it took several minutes of me calling his name and kicking him hard to get his attention. He helped me sit up and I stayed that way awake for most of the rest of the night. I'm in a fair amount of pain, can barely hold my 3 month old, and am letting my 2 1/2 year old run the house. I just keep yelling at him, "don't lean on Mommy." He's got a knack of just hanging on me...like all children. And of course, the side that hurts.
I've called in reinforcements. My poor husband has more work than his practice can handle, and given the economy, that's not a bad thing. I feel awful calling him away from his meetings today, so I called my parents and they'll be over in a few hours to help me in the afternoon. I'm going to try and call a chiropractor this morning and see if I can get an appointment this afternoon. Just can't go too long this way.
Good news: my 3 month old slept over 9 hours straight last night and is the happiest little camper on his bear rug right now. Picked the right night not to nurse every 2 hours, that's for sure. Don't think I really could have too easily.
Here's hoping my back recovers quickly and the little guy continues to sleep well! I'm actually hoping for a nice nap today so I can lay down. Might just go up in a little while and put the little guy to sleep and let the big guy watch PBS in bed with me.
When it rains it pours. First I got the cold that moved our Halloween party for our play group. I got better, we had the party, went trick-or-treating, made it through the weekend, and then my boys got the cold. They got better, we had a good weekend, and now I have pink eye.
Monday afternoon I thought something was up as my eye was very irritated, but when I woke up yesterday morning and couldn't open my eye, I knew what it was. Took a few minutes in the bathroom with a wet warm cloth to open things up. I called the doctor and they were able to get me in at 2:30pm.
Although my "dry eyes" aren't too bad on an average day, add pink eye to the mixture and I could barely blink without it feeling like someone had poured sand in my eye. Very gritty and painful. My vision was also very blurry...which is pretty normal with pink eye.
I have one of those nice ol' country doctors who has a family practice. Has the baby scale from the 1950's in the examination room. Comes in and has a conversation with you, takes his time, and educates you in the process. Not the doctor for everyone as some people want to get in and out. I, however, owe it to him for my very early diagnosis with Sjogren's, so I'll be a patient as long as I can still drive to see him.
He walked in yesterday afternoon and asked me how I was doing. I replied, "not too bad, and you?" His response: he had spent the last few hours waiting for the mail to come. My response: I was just at the post office and wondered why there were no cars in the parking lot. We both said: Veteran's Day. Duh.
He then asked me what brought me in, so I looked at him and said, "I think I have pink eye." He asked me when it started, I filled him in on the morning with the eye stuck together. Mentioned that my husband looked at me and said, "whoa." The doctor commented that all men should look at their wives and say "whoa" every now and then. I clarified it was more of a "whoa (I want to run to the bathroom and wash my hands" vs. a "whoa (don't you look beautiful)." We both had a good laugh.
I also mentioned my husband's offer to help me open my eye, and that I had declined and opted for the wet warm cloth. The doctor said that was a good one, as separating the eye would usually result in pulling out some eyelashes. He then asked me if we've been sick lately. Seems that pink eye and the cold run together. Sometimes one member of the family will get the cold, another will get pink eye. So, this is still lingering from our colds the past few weeks. However, he also filled me in on how there's like 22,000 different viruses that cause colds and only about 18-20 different viruses that cause pink eye. Once you have one of the viruses, you won't have it again. So while you can have cold after cold, it's always a different cold. Same thing with pink eye, once you have one case, you'll never have that same case again. However, that doesn't mean you can't pass it to other people.
He then proceeded to ask me if my kids were in daycare. Please keep in mind what I'm typing below is directly from my doctor, not my beliefs. I responded that I'm fortunate to be at home with them (thanks to my husband). He went on to explain that if it were the 1950s where most women were home with their kids and my kid had pink eye, we'd leave the doctor and then not leave the house for the next 5 days. My kids would stay home from school for a full week to ensure not only that they were better, but no one else got pink eye. Now a days, since many women work and there are pressures (both from the employer and those women put on themselves) to be at work, parents feel the urge to load their kids up with Tylenol and ship them off to daycare. Then they go into work and wait for the call from the daycare saying something's not right. This enables them to "show up" at work, so at least they "made the effort." Then they take the kid to the doctor, get the prescription for antiBIOTIC eye drops (keep in mind this is a virus) and go home for the rest of the afternoon. Daycares, to cover their rearends, stipulate that the child has to be on medication for 24 hours before returning to daycare. However, since the antiBIOTIC drops just soothe the eye (take away the redness) and prevent secondary infections (like sties) they don't prevent the pink eye from spreading. It takes 4-5 days for the virus to run it's course. You're technically able to "share" the virus the 3-4 days before you are at your worst, and then 4-5 days afterwards.
So, his insight is that doctors are now just there to cover the legal issues rather than get the families to take care of their children. Afterall, most kids with pinkeye return to daycare the next day and it typically spreads like wildfire. The daycare's response: they're all on medication. That phrase takes care of everything. If you're on medication (even though it won't treat a virus), you can't pass what you have along. FALSE.
His advice to me: stay home or take my kids out to all of our play groups and get togethers and pass out his card. If the adults are my age, there's a 50/50 chance they've already had this virus and won't have it again. Most kids haven't and if there's enough contact (or their resistance is down) they will get pink eye...or the cold caused by the virus. My thought: I'm staying put. Nothing worse than passing things around, and I'm one of those Moms who hates it when sick people leave their house because they feel they have to. Like all of those sick co-workers I had during my pregnancy who would I'd overhear telling people how they felt like crap, and a) would go home early, b) didn't have any more vacation days to take sick time, c) had to get something out so they came in even though they felt lousy. Thought they were troopers, but from my perspective they were just incubating and passing along their misery to the rest of the workforce.
I left the doctor's office with quite an education and that prescription for drops to soothe my eyes and prevent the secondary infection. As they don't make me unable to share my misery, I'm canceling all activities for the week. Also makes me think more about how I should keep my kids away from anyone who has been sick within the past 3-4 days, not just the last 24 hours.
My eye is feeling better, and it's looking like it's just my left eye right now. Woke up able to see this morning, so that means 4 days from yesterday is Saturday when I can be out and about. Now I have to start canceling our dates for the remainder of the week.
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